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Music and lyrics by Canaan's Banana

Lyrics

  • I'm a psychopath, my name is Bob Mugabe,
  • I'm the number one banana in Zimbabwe,
  • I haven't got a clue,
  • So I blame everything on you,
  • And the whiteys from London to Harare.
  • Bob's your uncle, Bob's your auntie, Bob's your mam and Bob's your dad,
  • Bob's the long-lost relative you never knew you had,
  • He's mean, he's rude, he's ugly and he's been there too long now,
  • He stole the last election and he's married to a cow,
  • PW's black brother, he's the man that time forgot,
  • If he ever does any wrong it's all a racist plot,
  • The father of the nation who abuses all his kids,
  • He took a wealthy country and he put it on the skids.
  • Down near the tip of Africa there's terror in the air,
  • A tinpot tyrant rules the roost, his country worse for wear,
  • Bob Gabriel Mugabe got a lot to answer for,
  • 'Cos he the presidential crook who can defy the law,
  • Nobody goes to work today, 'cos unemployment's rife,
  • Moyo lies, the press complies, Bob's president-for-life,
  • Of course he won't capitulate, of course he won't resign,
  • There's plenty diamonds in the Congo he still plans to mine.
  • Bob's your uncle, Bob's your auntie, Bob's your mam and Bob's your dad,
  • Bob chased away the farmers but he's really not that bad,
  • Who cares about economy, the famine or the war,
  • Bob say any time we like we come back we take more!
  • Democracy Zimbabwe-style - oh what a wondrous thing,
  • Gaddafi pays our petrol bills, Mbeki lets us sing,
  • Bob cook the books, Bob steal the show, Bob make sure that he wins,
  • Some say that Bob's the punishment for all Africa's sins.
  • Homophobia, megalomania, ignorance and cheek,
  • Hypocrisy, dishonesty, dictator of the week,
  • What human rights? What dignity? The dignity is mine!
  • Play the game, do things my way, I'm sure we'll get on fine,
  • So what's this "quiet diplomacy"? How long must people weep?
  • It can't be right to let Bob run Zimbabwe in his sleep,
  • 'Cos, he's run it into ruin
  • And he's run it into debt
  • If only Bob Mugabe hadn't run for president.
  • The lands would all be planted there'd be food upon the shelf,
  • The UN aid that does arrive he keeps all to himself,
  • We wouldn't have to queue for fuel, we'd all be pretty safe,
  • From ZANU thugs with bloodshot eyes from smoking too much skyf.
  • What brought him to our country, someone throw the bastard out,
  • Perhaps a gay, white farmer could come give the clot a clout,
  • And when his days are over and they've locked him in the cell,
  • We'll bring out our next single - MUGABE GO TO HELL!!
  • Repeat to end line 4. Repeat line 4 twice again
  • [Laughter] - "So what's skyf, hey?" [Laughter]
  • "Make it before the cops take it"
 

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