Hotel Mauna Kea

The Photomixers

Lyrics

(a parody of The Eagle’s Hotel California by Felder, Henley and Frey)

  • On a volcanic highway, cool wind in my hair,
  • Pale mist of a cryogen, drifting down through the air,
  • Up ahead in the distance, I saw a silver dome, bright.
  • Granted time at the IRTF, I must observe for the night.
  • The baseline is drifting, the spectrum looks weird.
  • Are those emission lines? What’s this dip over here?
  • Will the referees buy it? Or is it just trash?
  • Proposals are pending, I’m running out of cash.
  • Welcome to the Hotel Mauna Kea,
  • Such a dusty space, such an arid place.
  • We’re living it up at the Hotel Mauna Kea,
  • Any time of year, if the night is clear.
  • Sleep deprivation, there’s no air to breath,
  • Long drive to the summit, family’s missing me.
  • Flat tire on the dirt road, I can no longer drive.
  • Will I miss dinner, will they hold it ‘til I arrive?
  • Got an altitude headache. I can hardly see.
  • I stopped drinking coffee, now I drink only tea.
  • There’s ice on the switchbacks, summit’s out of reach
  • Can’t do our science, let’s go to the beach!
  • Welcome to the Hotel Mauna Kea,
  • Such a dusty space, such an arid place.
  • We’re living it up at the Hotel Mauna Kea,
  • If the orbit is right, they might give us a night.
  • The window is fogging, the dewar’s gone soft,
  • The signal is dying, too much cirrus aloft,
  • Now the lasers are arcing, the guide camera’s fried,
  • I’m a victim of a disk crash, my career has just died.
  • Last thing I remember, I was running for the door,
  • I had to find the passage back to the lab I had before.
  • Relax, said the P.I., it will just take one more tweak.
  • Close the dome any time you like, but you can never leave!